Blissfully Sidelined

I am taking a two-day break from my novel to revise a short story I wrote for my graduate-school application. I plan on submitting it somewhere tomorrow. It is called "The Fine Art of Nose-Hair Removal" and here's a taste:

“It seems to me that this article should only be one line: ‘Use a rotary nose-hair trimmer,’” Lloyd Dunkirk slumped in the plush chair in his editor’s office.

Wally Reincastle looked at Lloyd over the top of his glasses, perched on the tip of his nose. “Our research indicated that not too many of our readers use those things, Lloyd. They have been around for a long time and still haven’t gained acceptance. I mean, Christ, you can still get them from the same catalogs as whoopee cushions.”

“Research?”

“And besides, the article is ‘The Fine Art of Nose-Hair Removal.’ If one used an electric trimmer, it wouldn’t exactly be a ‘fine art’ now would it, Lloyd?”

Lloyd stared at Reincastle’s bloated face. “Well, can you give it to someone else? What about Smith or Mulaney? They’re still young pups. I was hoping to work on my ‘Low-Fat Egg Alternatives’ idea.”

Reincastle had closed his eyes and was slowly massaging the lids. “Lloyd, you’ve been doing food articles for over five years now. It’s time to diversify. Do some fitness. Do some hygiene. I’m trying to help you out here. You’re forty years old. You’re never going to move up at Fly Guy Fitness if you don’t diversify.”

“But . . .”

“And besides, I need you on this one. You’re the only one that can pull it off. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to talk to Reynolds. She thinks eyebrow waxing is a relevant topic. Imagine, eyebrow waxing.” He stuck a pen in his mouth and picked up the phone.